God's doing crazy things these days… and I'm perfectly okay with that.
Holy Week is my favorite week of the whole year. And rightly so - it's the week we Catholics revere as the holiest week of all weeks - the week that begins with us praising Jesus as he enters into Jerusalem and ends with our crucifixion of Him and His all too wonderful and glorious Resurrection.
This Lent has been a time of remembering to surrender. Remembering that this life is about serving humbly and not clinging to my plans or my selfish desires. This Lent has been a time of remembering that I am the one that put Jesus up on that cross and that constantly wavering between "Jesus, I trust in you" and "crucify Him!" is no way to live. This faith is all or nothing - and God used this Lent to remind me that I can trust Him and that I need to surrender.
And as I journey through this last few days of Lent and enter into the holiest and most sacred days of the year, I am in such awe of how God has exceeded all of my expectations this Lent and used it to show me so many things about myself and who He wants me to be.
The last few weeks have been constant ministry. With the praise and worship concert, and going on three retreats in the last month, God is really stretching my heart and my ability to say "yes" to Him. My Lent was not a time of deep reflection and contemplation, but active ministry and service, which challenged me to integrate prayer into my constantly changing routine.
God used this Lent to remind me how much I love youth ministry. After not leading a retreat since the summer, and not giving a talk in over a year, I was pretty rusty. In my struggle to get back into the rhythm of letting God do what He will in the lives of the retreatants, I was reminded that I find so much Joy in ministry settings. I used this retreat to transition from the "reading off a paper" talk to a "let the Spirit move you" kind of talk. So I had a talk prepared, but I was fully open to letting God change whatever He wanted. I went up and started to talk about Faith + Prayer (So vague, right?) and my talk took a very different route than I initially intended. All of a sudden, the stories were coming out of my mouth and I was going totally off what I had written down. And I knew God was moving.
After my talk, one girl came up to me and wanted to talk concerning her own faith and how God was moving in her own life in relation to what I had shared. And I knew in my heart that I shared what I did because of this one girl. God used me as a vessel to bring reassurance and hope to this one girl who needed to hear whatever God used me to talk about that day.
In this moment I remembered that this whole ministry thing is not about me. It's about God using me to show Himself. This is about souls. It's about reaching out to souls and knowing that if even one person is touched than that is more than enough. And my fire for ministry was sparked bright and strong again.
This Lent was also used as a way for God to reassure me that I can trust Him. I had the wonderful opportunity to go on a retreat at my favorite place and be filled by some wonderful women on retreat. And God used the weekend to exceed every expectation and prayer that I had and show His great and wonderful will in my life.
And as I sat among so many women who have had such great influence in my own life - as friends and sisters - I was renewed in my Joy for Christ. I was renewed in my sense of awe and knew that there was nothing as beautiful as the Glory of God and the way He breaks through into my brokenness and reminds me that I am whole. And I was able to sit in a rocking chair and share amazing conversation with women who know the struggle but also know the Love. And I was able to get up extra early to go to the chapel, knowing that adoration would be happening, even if it wasn't on the schedule. And I could sit in my favorite chapel and be with my Lord and have a moment of soul sharing. And the Earth shook that weekend and I knew that it was essential to keep going and to keep loving this Lent, and when I got home God rocked my world and reminded me that He's got this. Taking time to intimately and intentionally be with God changes things. It changes hearts, it changes minds, it changes everything.
And as Holy Week takes over in my life I know that the Lord is continually calling me to go deeper. That He is with me and that He wants me to walk to Calvary with Him as He walks with me in my struggles. The Lord has shown His great power to me this Lent and that He is always calling me out upon the waters to do things that may be outside of my comfort zone but are still a great and beautiful endeavors for the glory of God. I was reminded that God is and God is with me and that God fights for me and knows my deepest Joy more than I do. The Advocate comes. And He is there to remind you that He is strong and He will win - no matter what. And He will exceed your every expectation.
live with Joy.
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