john 19:28

Life after camp.

 

After coming back from Hidden Lake, I've been reflecting a lot on how to keep my heart up and how to keep living missionary.

 

It's a well known saying among summer missionaries: "Camp ruins lives." Oh it so does. Not in a horrible way, but in a way that wakes you up and makes you realize that you're changed and can't go back to living the way you did before camp. Camp ruins lives. It shakes you and makes you realize that the important things in life are not found in material possessions or earthly things but are the teens you encounter and their souls and the friends that drag you along with them to Heaven. Camp ruins lives because it doesn't let you go back unchanged. God uses those six weeks to wreck you in the best way possible. And here I am, a month after leaving camp and I'm still reflecting and I'm still affected and I'm still longing to be there and still constantly trying to trust in God's plan that my mission has moved  to somewhere new.

 

But camp is a lightning-fast six weeks. And then you leave. It's only six weeks of the whole year. Six weeks of your whole life. And it's so transformative.

 

So how does one continue on after camp? When there is no longer a group of people praying along side you and no more teens to directly minister to in a centered environment and nobody getting you up in the morning to tell you to go to Mass and nobody is there with you to pray the Liturgy of the Hours and nobody wants to jump into a pit of mud with you or eat a whole pack of oreos with you because its a feast day. What happens then?

 

In the last two summers that I've been at camp, I have learned how dependent I am on the Eucharist. I crave the Eucharist. I have learned what a great gift the Mass is and wow, to be able to go every day... what a gift! Especially at Hidden Lake - walking up that hill every morning was only worth it because of what was at the top. Coffee... and most importantly, Jesus. To walk up that huge hill every morning was one of the greatest gifts of the summer, because it led to a place where I could sit in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament for a whole hour and then pray in community and then celebrate Mass together. Oh how dependent I am on the Eucharist!

 

The first few days we were at Hidden Lake, the Eucharist was not reposed in the tabernacle yet and there wasn't a priest there to say Mass yet. And I ached for the Sacrament. I realized what a privilege it is to attend Mass every day. What a privilege it is to go to a university that offers daily Mass. And here I was at camp, realizing my dependence on my Savior. It was just the wake up call I needed. Because I realized that I simply cannot do it without Him. Camp doesn't happen without Him. It's not me at all.

 

A few weeks ago, right after camp, one of my missionary brothers jokingly asked the group if there was any medication to get over the post-camp withdrawals (Trust me, they do exist). And almost immediately, two people responded with the same answer.

 

Eucharist.

 

God breaks our lives through camp only to bring us closer to His Sacred Heart and remind us how dependent we are on Him. That's really the base of it all. It's so simple, and sometimes we don't even recognize the small changes He makes in our hearts throughout those six weeks. Or, on the other hand, the changes are so drastic and quick that we are thrown into a whirlwind of His grace. He doesn't force it - He gives the choice and He waits patiently and He lets us see how little we are and how weak we are and how the little sheep that we are need His guidance and His gentle care. God ruined me at camp the last two years because He wants me to rely fully on Him. That's the only way to get through camp - and that's the only way to keep on living after camp.

 

And just as much as I am desperate for Him and desperate to receive Him, He thirsts for us! He thirsts for our souls to turn fully to Him and my desire for Him is only just a glimpse of His desire for each of us!

 

Praise You, Jesus.

 

After last summer at Covecrest, honestly, I became so relaxed. I prayed Liturgy of the Hours sometimes but never in routine. I stopped making regular Holy Hours. And I immediately found when I got back to camp this year at Hidden Lake how complacent I had become in my faith and it scared me how easy it is to forget the glory that happens at camp and fall out of a solid prayer routine.

 

So even though my rhythm of prayer is no longer set on a schedule for me and my shirt doesn't say summer missionary on the back, I can continue to live after camp by clinging to Christ in the Eucharist. I can continue to live my life after camp by growing in relationship with my Mother, Mary. I can continue to live my life after camp by praying for my teens and keeping in contact with my missionary family.

 

Camp ruined my life, and I have never been more full of Joy.  

 

Live with Joy

1 corinthians 14:33

I'm still processing. I'm still trying to find the words to describe this summer that changed my life again.

By day 2 of serving as a Summer Missionary for the second time with Life Teen, I was already being wrecked. How was I going to make it through six weeks?! My life was turned upside down once again as I invited God in to my summer and spent so much time in prayer and realized that my first mistake was that I was not expecting to be ruined so greatly again. I figured that I had already been a Summer Missionary, I had already experienced everything that was going to happen in my life this summer... boy, was I wrong. God moved in a fierce an bold way. And as my girl Audrey Assad says so well, "Love is moving among us." True that.

On May 18th I got on a plane and flew to Atlanta, Georgia to meet in the atrium with a bunch of college students who are on fire for the Lord. And at that point its already my Heaven. I jumped in a van and we drove about two hours north to Dahlonega, where I first set foot on one of the new homes of my heart - Life Teen Hidden Lake. Oh, the glory.

In the past six weeks I learned so much about myself, others, and God. I learned how to love better and how to be a better disciple. I learned what true love looks like and how God uses people in my life to draw me closer to Himself in very tangible ways.

So I would love to share a glimpse of my summer with you by listing things that I love.

I will start first with the people. I love the people. So much. I didn't think my heart was capable of loving this much - thank you, Jesus. I was blessed to grow in relationship this summer with 22 other Summer Staff Missionaries as well as with a group of men and women on Service Crew (mostly second year Summer Missionaries) as well as full-time Life Teen Missionaries. Each morning the girls would wake and pray together to begin the day - something I looked forward to every day. In the other cabin the men would be doing the same thing. I loved having my alarm go off so I could wake the rest of the girls so that we could pray and offer the work of our hands for the day to the Lord. What a blessing it was to get up each morning and serve at camp!

From there I was able to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament in All Saints Chapel for a whole hour, and then pray Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours. Page 707 became a staple for my life, along with the liturgical classic, number 70, Go Tell It On The Mountain. I loved this time of prayer because it gave me an opportunity to be in community with the rest of the missionaries as well as a time to reflect on my time at camp and listen wholeheartedly to the Lord.

I loved the time spent in prayer. The whole summer, the theme that the Lord really placed on my heart was that of overcoming confusion with peace. His peace. And oh, did He provide. I didn't come across the verse 1 Corinthians 14:33 until the last Holy Hour of camp, where my dearest sister handed me a small slip of paper that she had written it on - and it all hit me. I found so much peace this summer in the plans the Lord has for me, in relying fully on Him, and on trusting in His promises. I don't need to know everything or have it all figured out - the Lord will provide. I can say that with full confidence. 

I loved going to Mass so accessibly every day. The first week of camp, we did not have a priest for a few days, and we all rejoiced when one came to say Mass for us. Oh the glory of witnessing Heaven crashing into Earth! I will never tire of going to Mass! What a gift! And as I served over the weeks at camp I realized how dependent I am on the Eucharist to sustain me through the day. My heart yearns for Mass.

I love Confession. I went every week before the campers would arrive. One week I went to Reconciliation in the woods. One week I went to Reconciliation while tubing down the Chatahoochee River. (#bestcampever). This summer I became dependent on the graces from Reconciliation to be able to minister as a pure vessel of God's love to His middle schoolers in the best way that I could. I had to give of my whole self, and that could only be possible if I emptied myself and let the Lord take over fully - which meant giving Him my sins in sincere repentance. Jesus is so good to us! Oh, the grace!

I love praise and worship. I love singing at the top of my lungs in praise of the Lord, especially with 200 middle schoolers. Praise and worship is something I miss so much when I am not at camp... we do not have any opportunities for it at school or at my home parish, so I feel so blessed to be so fed at camp with a form of prayer that I love so much. 

I love family dinner. Family dinner happens twice a week at camp where the parish sits together around a table and the Summer Missionary that is paired with them serves them and provides them with anything they need. The idea behind it is that a lot of the teens' families at home no longer have the time to sit around a table and talk, for everyone is so busy with sports, work, etc. Family dinner provides the opportunity for the teens to create a family environment with their youth group. What a blessing. I love serving at family dinner and nurturing the group dynamic in a way of service and love. 

I loved the stars. Walking back to the cabin was a good 15 minute trek in the dark, and the stars were unbelievable. Praise You, Jesus. So many times we would stop and lay down in the middle of the street at the risk of being run over by bikes or vehicles (as it was so dark) in order to just attempt to grasp the beauty of the universe and the fireflies flew about and the crickets chirped and it was a glimpse of Heaven.

I loved the teens. Oh, the teens. I mean youths. They were middle schoolers.

Before this summer I had never worked with EDGE ever in my life. I had never ministered to middle schoolers. Frankly, I was terrified. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But, of course, God provides. I found that I loved it. I loved working with the middle schoolers. It was so good for my heart to be stretched in this way and to realize that in order to know that I am called to be working with high schoolers, I needed to break down my walls a bit and work with the middle schoolers. As much as I loved it, I know that I am not called to work in EDGE for the rest of my life. 

But, what I did love about it was that the youth were SO OPEN. They were so open to consciously allowing themselves to experience Jesus for the first time in so many of their lives. One of my teens went to Reconciliation for the first time in six years. One of my teens experienced adoration for the first time while I knelt next to her and she felt the presence of Jesus in a new and tangible way. What a blessing to see the Lord working in such young hearts! The Church is in the young people - watch how they are so eager to learn and so open to grace! What a blessing! 

I loved seeing a middle schooler do the trust fall at her first summer at camp... the same girl who looked me right in the eye and told me she wouldn't do it. I loved watching a bunch of 5 foot girls lift each other over a 12 foot wall and I felt more triumphant and victorious than I have ever felt in my entire life. What a summer. Who am I to see the blessings of the Lord in such abundance? 

I love the exhaustion, and the solidarity that comes with it. I embrace the spiritual attack. I embrace the shared life. I love the Joys of community. 

I loved hammocking every Sunday by the lake while reading Mulieris Dignitatem or Redemptoris Missio or sharing a hammock and laughing hysterically while creating beautiful memories that I will hold on to forever. What Joy and grace there is in sharing a hammock with someone you love!

I loved everything about this summer. The Lord exceeded my every expectation. I loved my missionary family, who called me higher in holiness every day and showed me the true love of the Father. I loved the chaperones who were so open to loving their teens and participating in the activities. I loved the Joy of earning my pillow each night knowing that yes, I'm a sinner and I am not perfect, but I tried to live for the Kingdom that day. The glory stories never end. The mission runs on. And even though I am no longer there, I know that the mission continues. Even though I cannot see the river or hear it rushing, I know that it still runs strong.

And so my mission base has changed - I am back home, but the same love flows on. As much as I miss Hidden Lake and the people that are still there and the people that have also returned home, I know that this is just the beginning. The Lord has such big things in mind for His beloved children. And THAT is crazy to think about. It's not the end. Love is moving. This summer showed me the incredible power of God and the fierce love that He has for us, and how much peace comes from letting Him be the center of my life. I am forever changed and I cannot wait to see where He will lead me next.

Our Lady of Victory, pray for us.

Saints Peter and Paul, pray for us. 

live with Joy.

isaiah 55:12

Welp, I cannot believe that I have finished my second year of college. I'm halfway there. And oh, how the Lord has blessed this beautiful year full of glorious opportunities!

And now summer is here and the mustard plants are blooming yellow bright and the quails are running quick through the backyard and the sun shines burning hot down in the California beauty. I love being back in my element, back in the rough and hot terrain. But being home tends to throw me off. 

Something I heard that I think is real true is that the soul moves a lot more slowly than the body. The body will change locations but the soul sort of saunters along and takes its time to stroll and catch up with the flesh. 

So when I move across the country when school ends it takes a little while for my soul to get settled and set back into a prayer routine. And as much as I wish I was spiritually mature enough that I could pray the same way in every place at every time, I am definitely not there yet.

The 5:30 pm Mass that was my routine at school becomes an early morning sacrifice of sleep, and community becomes nonexistent.

But the mission remains the same. And slowly but surely my soul catches up to my body and the routine becomes apparent again and prayer can thrive. Until things change up again.

On Sunday I will be moving to Georgia for six weeks (again) to serve as a Summer Missionary with Life Teen. Wow. How am I blessed enough to do this.

Last summer I served as a Summer Missionary and traveled down south to the mountains of Georgia and experienced Christ in a way that I could never capture through words but its the sort of soul stuff that can only be felt. 

And this summer I have the glorious opportunity to go back to Georgia and lead youth closer to Christ and live in community with a bunch of the greatest people you'll ever meet. Praise be to Jesus. I love everything about it. I eat, sleep, and breathe Summer Missions and I cannot wait to go back and I am almost always out of breath in awe that God has called me back to do something that I love so very much. 

But why? What happened last summer that changed me? Was it something in that "lake" (pond) water that transformed something in my heart? Or surely it was the baked ziti or the scones on Friday mornings… Why is there a longing in my soul for a place that I had never been before last summer and that really is in the Middle of Nowhere,  Georgia. And now that even though I won't be at the same place as last summer, why does Hidden Lake already hold such a special place in my heart? 

And I truly do know the answer, because being a Summer Missionary shook me at my shoulders and screamed life into every fiber of my being. It was a whisper into my soul letting me know that one can glimpse Heaven in community and in praise + worship and in the Mass and in the down-pouring rain and the Chaco tan lines. It was Jesus who showed me who I really could be and the person that I wanted to be was found. It was Jesus who revealed Himself through my friends and fellow brother and sister missionaries and teens and youth ministers and core members and also quite literally in the Eucharist. And Jesus showed Himself in the white water rapids and the mud pit and the smile of a teen in Adoration because Jesus was there and real and true and present.

And during that summer I realized I didn't need to do anything but just soak in the grace. 

And that was really it. Just knowing that God is. And that Truth was resounding and the Joy was indescribable. 

And I get to go back. Oh, the Joy!

So on Sunday I will get on a now familiar plane to go to a now familiar airport and meet in that all too familiar atrium to begin the same mission in a new place. God has called all the familiarity into a bundle to be thrown out into the unknown. God knew that I had gotten too comfortable and that He need to call me out to something new this summer. And that will be me serving at a new camp with middle schoolers running around crazy and mercy and grace overflowing. 

I could tell you over and over that I love the mission of Life Teen and that I love camp and that I love God's teens with all my heart but I could never fully capture the sort of soul speak that is told in the stories of my summer… but I will try. God is going to do big things.

And I invite you into mission with me as my partner, as my personal prayer warrior, to witness this inspired summer through my blog, email, and handwritten letters. 

I am so awestruck that God has called me back still, and I cannot wait to fulfill all things according to His will this summer at camp. Please pray for me and let me know how I can pray for you - this is my loving request. I am so excited to serve as captain this summer and to live out the always present mission in a new and beautiful way. 

So off to camp I go - Lord, use me! I surrender all!

Jesus, I trust in You!

Live with Joy.

exodus 3:14

God's doing crazy things these days… and I'm perfectly okay with that.

Holy Week is my favorite week of the whole year. And rightly so - it's the week we Catholics revere as the holiest week of all weeks - the week that begins with us praising Jesus as he enters into Jerusalem and ends with our crucifixion of Him and His all too wonderful and glorious Resurrection. 

This Lent has been a time of remembering to surrender. Remembering that this life is about serving humbly and not clinging to my plans or my selfish desires. This Lent has been a time of remembering that I am the one that put Jesus up on that cross and that constantly wavering between "Jesus, I trust in you" and "crucify Him!" is no way to live. This faith is all or nothing - and God used this Lent to remind me that I can trust Him and that I need to surrender. 

And as I journey through this last few days of Lent and enter into the holiest and most sacred days of the year, I am in such awe of how God has exceeded all of my expectations this Lent and used it to show me so many things about myself and who He wants me to be.

The last few weeks have been constant ministry. With the praise and worship concert, and going on three retreats in the last month, God is really stretching my heart and my ability to say "yes" to Him. My Lent was not a time of deep reflection and contemplation, but active ministry and service, which challenged me to integrate prayer into my constantly changing routine.

God used this Lent to remind me how much I love youth ministry. After not leading a retreat since the summer, and not giving a talk in over a year, I was pretty rusty. In my struggle to get back into the rhythm of letting God do what He will in the lives of the retreatants, I was reminded that I find so much Joy in ministry settings. I used this retreat to transition from the "reading off a paper" talk to a "let the Spirit move you" kind of talk. So I had a talk prepared, but I was fully open to letting God change whatever He wanted. I went up and started to talk about Faith + Prayer (So vague, right?) and my talk took a very different route than I initially intended. All of a sudden, the stories were coming out of my mouth and I was going totally off what I had written down. And I knew God was moving. 

After my talk, one girl came up to me and wanted to talk concerning her own faith and how God was moving in her own life in relation to what I had shared. And I knew in my heart that I shared what I did because of this one girl. God used me as a vessel to bring reassurance and hope to this one girl who needed to hear whatever God used me to talk about that day.

In this moment I remembered that this whole ministry thing is not about me. It's about God using me to show Himself. This is about souls. It's about reaching out to souls and knowing that if even one person is touched than that is more than enough. And my fire for ministry was sparked bright and strong again. 

This Lent was also used as a way for God to reassure me that I can trust Him. I had the wonderful opportunity to go on a retreat at my favorite place and be filled by some wonderful women on retreat. And God used the weekend to exceed every expectation and prayer that I had and show His great and wonderful will in my life. 

And as I sat among so many women who have had such great influence in my own life - as friends and sisters - I was renewed in my Joy for Christ. I was renewed in my sense of awe and knew that there was nothing as beautiful as the Glory of God and the way He breaks through into my brokenness and reminds me that I am whole. And I was able to sit in a rocking chair and share amazing conversation with women who know the struggle but also know the Love. And I was able to get up extra early to go to the chapel, knowing that adoration would be happening, even if it wasn't on the schedule. And I could sit in my favorite chapel and be with my Lord and have a moment of soul sharing. And the Earth shook that weekend and I knew that it was essential to keep going and to keep loving this Lent, and when I got home God rocked my world and reminded me that He's got this. Taking time to intimately and intentionally be with God changes things. It changes hearts, it changes minds, it changes everything. 

And as Holy Week takes over in my life I know that the Lord is continually calling me to go deeper. That He is with me and that He wants me to walk to Calvary with Him as He walks with me in my struggles. The Lord has shown His great power to me this Lent and that He is always calling me out upon the waters to do things that may be outside of my comfort zone but are still a great and beautiful endeavors for the glory of God. I was reminded that God is and God is with me and that God fights for me and knows my deepest Joy more than I do. The Advocate comes. And He is there to remind you that He is strong and He will win - no matter what. And He will exceed your every expectation.

live with Joy.

ephesians 5:14

Here is the story of how Jesus changed everything this week.

On Thursday, my school had its first evening of praise and worship on campus. Ever. Or at least that I know of. 

If this was a few days ago, I would have said that "I organized the whole event. It was me. Give me credit for working my butt off." 

But yesterday I had an epiphany that I really didn't do anything. I definitely did not make this happen. And I was stupid to think that I did.

I did nothing compared to how God came in to my selfish little world and made everything work out for His glory. I praise Him for He is a God of the details. He is a God that breaks through my anxious heart, holds me close and reminds me that He's got this. 

Back in the fall I prayed for God to make it all work out if it was in His will. This was Him giving me one of the desires of my heart - to have a night praising Him in one of my favorite chapels with a lot of my friends, and to introduce this outlet of praise and worship that I love so dearly to my school.

And oh boy, did He take care of all my desires this week. He exceeded every expectation I had. I am one blessed daughter of a glorious King.

My goal for attendance was 50, He gave me 80. 

My goal was that if people even came, they would enjoy it… people loved it. So many continue to tell me how much they loved it.

My goal was that my best friend could come and lead worship and share her beautiful gifts of her victorious and joyful ministry with my community - God brought her here for a whole week.

My desire was for God to bless the experience for those who came, and oh man did He deliver. With the intercession of St. Thérèse, God answered my prayers and provided one of the most moving nights I have ever had at this school.

God renewed my love for Him this week in reminding me that He's in charge and He's holding my hand and I can do NOTHING without Him. 

This event would have failed if I had not offered it to the Lord and prayed so fervently for Him to take it from me and make it His. 

This week I was reminded that the Lord provides. I was given the opportunity to give it all to Jesus, and He didn't let me down.

The one idea that has stuck with me all week is that there is power in the name of Jesus. And if there is any way to describe the night, it is that Jesus stormed in and broke all the chains in every soul in the church. I could feel the Holy Spirit moving so gracefully and powerfully and without ceasing as our prayers lifted toward Heaven. 

I couldn't help but have tears in my eyes as I saw the power of Christ wreck the Church and hold us in His embrace. This is something I have never experienced in this way at my school. It was pure Joy. 

This week I was reminded that it's not about me. It never was about me and it never will be about me. It's all God. All I do is for God and flows from God, and if I have a good and holy desire God will take that and give me something greater than I ever imagined. I was reminded never to settle. 

There were so many glory stories.

One girl who came to pray with us said she was so grateful to have the outlet of praise and worship because she hadn't praised like this since high school. What a blessing it is that the Lord used this event to bring a beautiful form of prayer to those who need it most and are thirsting for it. He quenched our hearts.

To hear multiple people tell me that the event was "just what I needed" is beautiful to hear. And not beautiful because I organized the night, but because I know the Lord was moving fiercely in their hearts and brought them to the church that night and fed their souls.

When the worship leader stopped singing, said "just you, Church," and the assembly continued to sing How Great is Our God, I was SO SURPRISED. This school has never had an event like this. I had no idea how people were going to react. I was expecting a hesitant crowd of students who really didn't know what they were getting in to. I was surprised to hear people praying and singing their hearts out. I mean, it wasn't a jump around, hands high, screaming the song type of night - it was more than that. It was a quiet, prayerful, gentle movement of the Spirit with resounding voices and authentic praise.

My roommate took a short recording of our praises and I could not believe it when I listened to it again. It sounded like hundreds of people were filling the Church with victorious song! The acoustics in the Church with the beautiful voices of the congregation created an army of believers calling out with a joyous voice to serve the Lord. 

And it made me sad that I was surprised that it sounded like this. Why should I be surprised after how God exceeded my expectations in every other aspect of the night? I should know by now that God will give me more than I ever ask for. 

And oh, the joy. I am still not over it. Be still, my heart!

If I could bring this whole experience down to one word, it would be "awe." My sense of awe has been restored, renewed, and heightened. 

Nothing will ever be the same. 

Live with Joy.

matthew 4:17

"I don't believe the Church will be around in 20 years."

…

Didn't think that I would be getting this in my theology classes.

Tonight I encountered this statement. I was very shocked - to the point when I raised my hand to fight against it I couldn't even really make a coherent sentence. It pretty much came out as a "I disagree - summer missionary - camp - March for Life - I see a rising up in the young people of the Church - Jesus." Not my most eloquent comeback. 

The thought that the Church would stop existing has just never come into my mind. I have never encountered anything that would show that it would fade away. I've only encountered Christ and His love. That doesn't fade. So I don't expect the Church to fade either.

What I've experienced is the true beauty of the Church. I've seen rain fall while singing the Alleluia at Mass. I've seen non-Catholics fall to their knees and sob in front of the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. I've seen teens literally run to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and witnessed the Holy Spirit healing their wounded hearts. I've heard men sing the Salve Regina in Latin. I know amazing people who have given their lives to the religious vocation willingly and joyfully. I've seen beautiful and holy families, fully open to the will of the Lord leading their lives. I've been in a tiny chapel with eighty college students praising the Lord at the top of their lungs and there was no question that God was there. I've been to huge public conferences and also had quiet and personal prayer. I've seen thirty guys get in a circle and chant: "Men of God, rise up!" This is real. This isn't a joke. The Church isn't just a group of people in a cult getting together for no reason. The Church is real - not a fading fad or a phase humanity is going through.

And let me tell you this - I can say without a doubt that I do not believe the Church will fade away. Ever. 

I firmly believe that God is here. The Kingdom of God is at hand. And after having conversations like this all I can think is how saddened I am that not everyone has seen what I've seen. And woah - that's the Christian mission. I am a Christian. I know the beauty of Truth and I firmly believe in it. And it is the mission of the Christian to go out and spread the knowledge of Truth to those who have not recognized how big of a role God plays in their lives. We must spread what we have witnessed.

Once you witness something, you become responsible. You become responsible to sharing and investing your life in that experience. If you are a Christian, you have been changed. You are a witness. You have a responsibility to share God's love and bring that love and Truth to all you encounter. Even in a classroom.

I've seen a stirring of young people rising up and listening to the call of the Lord. You may think the Church is failing - but I believe that the opposite is occurring. The Lord is working fiercely in the young people of the Church. I've seen the Joy in others. I've personally felt the Joy. Two thousand years of endurance should never be pushed aside as if they don't matter. There's a reason we're still around: Because God cannot be shaken. The Church is the realest thing I have ever experienced… and it is real because it is rooted in God. 

And let me tell you, the Church isn't going anywhere.

Live with Joy.

wisdom 3:5-6

Dear Saint Thérèse de Lisieux,

Thank you. Thank you for your constant guidance. Thank you for your constant prayer.

Thank you for directing me to Jesus.

Today I went online and saw that it was the Day of the Little Way (#LittleWay) on social media websites. A day to share your little way in 140 characters or less. I don't think that I can show my love for you, Saint T, any other way than to write you a little letter showing how your little way has led me into deeper relationship with our God.

Saint Thérèse, thank you for your little way. Thank you for showing me how to live missionary right where you are. As the patron saint of missions and also a cloistered nun, you knew how to spread Christ right where you are and to hit everyone right in the heart with Truth. Thank you for living missionary and sharing your life through your beautiful words.

Thank you for being one of the best friends I could ever ask for. For being a confidant and loving me and letting me share my prayers with yours. Thank you for interceding for me and for letting the Lord use you as a way to speak to me. I am so blessed that the Lord gave me you as a light in this world of how to take my little life and pray big through it. Thank you for showing how to take the little life the Lord has given us and let Him magnify it in prayer and bring us closer to Heaven.

Thank you for spending your time in Heaven helping me out. I know that I am not the best at prayer, I am not the best at faithfulness, I am a doubter and my strength is constantly failing. I seriously don't deserve your intercession. But, I know that through you my prayers are answered in ways that I could never expect. Even when I'm a brat and I stomp my feet and pray that things would just work out how I want them, your patient reassurance and example of a beautifully little life gives me hope and calms my crazy heart.

Thank you for being an example of true Catholic womanhood that can be applied to any life.

Thank you for giving women everywhere an example of humble strength. Oh how we need to recognize that in ourselves more often! Thank you for showing us how to live fully for Him, to recognize the beauty in each of our differences, and letting us know what prayer really is:  "For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy."

Thank you for giving women a voice of hope and true joy that does not fade - no matter what is going on in her life. Thank you for showing us how one mission field is never enough. Thank you for showing us that it is an important mission to "bring light to souls, like the prophets and doctors; to go to the ends of the earth to preach Your name, to plant Your glorious Cross…on pagan shores." 

Thank you for reminding us that our vocation is to love. Nothing more. Nothing less. Our vocation is love. 

I am so grateful for your intercession - even when I don't want to hear what you might have to say. I know that you are praying for me and have my best interest in mind. Thank you for sending help when I need it. You're really cool.

Please continue to pray for me and direct me toward the Lord. Thank you for letting the Lord use you to bring me closer to Him. 

Oh, and thank you for this quote and for showing me how to live with Joy every day: 

"I learnt from experience that joy does not reside in the things about us, but in the very depths of the soul; that one can have it in the gloom of a dungeon as well as in the palace of a king."

I love you so much, Saint Thérèse. Help me to live your little way. Help me to live missionary. Help me to praise God with every fiber of my being every second of the day. 

Thanks for having my back.

In Him,

Bailey

Live with Joy

romans 12:12

A bold act of faith.
I had the good fortune to attend the 41st March for Life in Washington, DC this past week. And oh, what powerful time it was.

It is so easy to associate the March for Life with a huge Catholic gathering where I get to see my friends from all over the country and go to Mass and hang out.

But the March is so much more than just a Catholic reunion. It is a bold act of faith. It is standing up for the culture of life in a world that constantly supports the culture of death.

The morning of the March, I was moved by the Lord to recognize the power of this March and how beautiful the community of faith is that surrounded me. Outside the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, I saw some Franciscan friars standing in the snow. I had four shirts, two pairs of pants, and two pairs of socks on. It was freezing outside. Literally freezing. These men were standing in their habits, wearing just sandals or no shoes at all on the cold granite.

What a bold act of faith they live out every day! How moving! The intensity of their devotion astounded me.

I couldn't believe it. I was so moved. It was almost below zero outside and snowing, and these men were still holding true to their way of life and glorifying God through it. They were being a witness to the Lord by just standing there. That was the first reminder that the March was more than just a gathering and standing up to the law. It is prayer. The March is a prayer.

I also had the amazing opportunity of attending Morning Prayer in the crypt chapel of the Basilica with the Dominican friars.

It was like being in Heaven. It was pretty close to what I imagine Heaven to be like.

We had Adoration, chanted Morning Prayer, and then followed with Benediction. It was one of the coolest and most beautiful things I have ever experienced. It was 6:00 in the morning and the friars, some early risers for the March, my friend Amber, and myself were all under the Basilica in a gorgeous chapel. Incense billowed all around and the Lord resided on the altar. And we prayed.

And once again I was reminded of the power of prayer and the importance of integrating prayer into the March for Life.

I attended the 7:30 am Mass in the Basilica right after. Archbishop Chaput couldn't attend as scheduled, but he sent his homily to be read in his place - and it was incredible.

People sometimes ask me if we can be optimistic, as believers, about the future of our country.  My answer is always the same.  Optimism and pessimism are equally dangerous for Christians because both God and the devil are full of surprises.  But the virtue of hope is another matter.  The Church tells us we must live in hope, and hope is a very different creature from optimism.  The great French Catholic writer Georges Bernanos defined hope as “despair overcome.”  Hope is the conviction that the sovereignty, the beauty and the glory of God remain despite all of our weaknesses and all of our failures.  Hope is the grace to trust that God is who he claims to be, and that in serving him, we do something fertile and precious for the renewal of the world.

 I love what Archbishop Chaput says here about the virtue of hope. The March is about hope. The hope of a friar standing in the snow with no shoes on. The hope of chanting Morning Prayer and knowing that the Lord is present there in the Eucharist. The hope that as we, hundreds of thousands of pro-life women and men march on Capitol Hill, the culture of death will be overcome in our society.

The March is a bold act of faith. The March is a manifestation of hope. And that hope should not end after one frigid day in January. We must march on in our own lives and in our college campuses and hometowns. We must cling to hope. We must cling to God. We must continue to desire a respect for the sanctity of life from conception to natural death. And we cannot stand on the sidelines of the battle between the culture of life and the culture of death. We must fight on.

Even though the March is a great opportunity to see friends and meet in one place to pray together for a cause, it is so much more than that. It is more than adventuring around DC on the metro and eating in Union Station and counting the number of priests that you see. It is more than rejoicing in the snow and catching up with friends that you haven't seen in seven months. The March is a call to live out faith in a tangible way and show the world what you believe. It is an expression of the knowledge hope and that life prevails.

I believe Archbishop said it well at the conclusion of his homily:

If Jesus is the Lord of the sabbath, he is also the lord of history.  And sooner or later, despite the weaknesses of his friends and the strengths of his enemies, his will will be done — whether the Pharisees and Herodians of our day approve of it or not.

Live with Joy.