john 15:16

Since I've gotten home, I've wanted to write about what has happened.

Ever been shaken so hard in your core that there is no other explanation than God?
God likes to come into my comfort and shake things up when I least expect it.

This past week I was at my favorite place in the world with some of my favorite people in the world. It was one of the biggest blessings that I could have ever received… and not just because it was a reunion. I went into the retreat week with the idea of reunion - not much else. I had forgotten the power of God behind my finals and my friends and my travel and Christmas vacation. This was just going to be a great week with my friends praising and loving and living memories.

Boy, was I so wrong.

This return to Covecrest was totally different than my first visit there. My first time I went to camp I was there to fill others by letting God work through me. I was there to serve, and I loved it. So, I wasn't expecting the change in atmosphere when I got back this past week. Now I was there to be filled. A retreat for myself? When was the last time I went on a retreat for myself? Over a year ago. I'm so used to running things and organizing and planning and writing talks that I was so taken aback. It was uncomfortable. It was hard to break down my expectations of "just a reunion" and let God exceed every expectation I had for the week.

Going into the week, I was not having it with God. I was exercising faith but only going through the motions for the past few months. I felt dead, defeated, and confused. I didn't want to feel this way - and I knew what Truth was in my heart, which made it that much harder. I knew what I should be doing, I knew what Joy was, I knew that I shouldn't be feeling this way when God had already been revealing to me how great and beautiful He is. And this hurt me more than anything - that I know Truth and was still doubting. I felt stupid for doubting God when I loved Him so much. It didn't make sense. And my doubt tore me down. For months, I didn't want to go to adoration, but I went anyway. I didn't want to go to Mass, but I went anyway. I was dragging my feet and trying to return to God, but this wall had gone up of doubt and selfishness and that one horrible phrase: "You are not enough."

I felt this resounding in my prayer, even though I know that God loves me. That was the confusing part. I was so conflicted and I didn't know why.

So I figured that going to this retreat, john 15, was going to be a great time to see my friends and see their faith and try to live what they had. I was looking forward to seeing how my friends did it - I wanted to see how they kept living their faith after our time as missionaries together and hope that their faith would rub off on me.

I moved my finals, despite syllabi and professors that told me it could not be done. God triumphed over my finals. I should have taken that as a sign for what was to come - that God had big plans… bigger than what I had in mind.

The whole week took me by surprise. I'm not sure why, but God used this week to really shake my soul.

Right when I got there, I knew God was moving big.
I'm positive that people twenty miles away could hear the screams of joy that erupted from the dining hall in the lodge. I could not stop smiling. I was smiling so much that it hurt. The laughing and "Oh my gosh!" and "Welcome home!" and "Nate and Kiera are engaged!" and the "I haven't seen you in forever!" made my heart feel so alive. These people that I love so much were all in the same room and the joy was absolutely tangible.

That's when I knew that this was more than a reunion.

Yes, we were all reunited. New and old friends all part of the same family, all home at Covecrest. But this was more than a reunion. This was a reminder. A renewal. A restart. It was overwhelming.

The week came and went. So fast. Way too fast. And I learned so much.

And God revealed to me why I had been struggling so much in the past few months.

He was pruning me. He was cutting me back lovingly in order that I could go and bear more fruit. He was pruning me so that when I returned to Covecrest I would be renewed and transformed and ready to go back out and live missionary. Ready to remain fearless and to be the woman that God has called me to be.

Throughout the week I realized the difference between the person that I was portraying and the person God wants me to be. I glimpsed myself through God's eyes and knew that I had to cut out my self-reliance and lack of trust.

I was reminded of what reality is through the people around me and the beautiful conversations that I had. I was reminded that I am the beloved,  and I do not need to know anything more. I do not need to know what my vocation is, or what my path is, or where God wants me. He will lead me if I allow myself to trust Him and if I remind myself constantly that I am His beloved... If I LET HIM BE MY STRENGTH and if I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE LOVED.

Through the many joyful conversations and encounters with Christ that I was blessed with, I was able to grow so much in just four days. Oh, the people there! I will never get over how blessed I am to know them and run this race with them toward Heaven.

The week renewed me. That doubt that I had for months beforehand has disappeared and has been replaced by conviction. Not the same conviction I had before - it's a stronger fire this time. My time back at Covecrest was more than a reunion. It was a time the Lord took me by the shoulders and reminded me who He is calling me to be. How beautiful it can be to be pruned, to be trimmed back for the greater glory of the Kingdom, and to know that above all else, you are loved. I am so blessed to have had this experience and I am so blessed to be sent out again and testify. Praise. Don't doubt that God can renew you in less than a week.

Merry Christmas - all praise be to the baby Savior, Jesus. 

#kudzu

Live with Joy.

john 15:18-25

"Do you have a fake?"

"No, I don't."

"You gotta get one. Wanna go out this weekend?"

"I don't drink."

"Oh. Why?"  

Ever had this conversation before? This happened to me earlier today with a guy in one of my classes. 

I also read an article on EWTN about Pope Francis encouraging university students to be counter-cultural and to stand firm in Christian values almost right before I walked into that classroom.

What a synchronicity!

""Dear young university students," Pope Francis encouraged, "your willpower and your capabilities, united to the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in each one of you from the day of your baptism, permits you to be not spectators, but protagonists in contemporary events.""

We, as Catholic university students, are given the opportunity daily to pick up our cross and follow Christ. I'm not 21. I don't go out and get drunk. And this is seen as odd. But, by the very meaning of our Baptism, we are separated from the rest of the world and called to be Christ to others. And this means being different. By definition, being Catholic will necessarily separate you from what the media says or popular opinion believes you should do.

There are two ways to be Catholic in college. You can ignore Christ's gentle desire for you to follow Him… tell Him you're busy… you just want to party for now - you'll get around to having faith later. 

Or, you can intentionally strive to be counter-cultural and pursue sainthood.

Saint Thérèse said, "You cannot be half a saint; you must be a whole saint or no saint at all."

And obviously, this isn't the easier path. Devoting your life to Christ is definitely not easy. Anyone could tell you that. Christ Himself told us that the world would hate you for following Him! 

I could've easily said, "Ya, let's go to the bars this weekend." I could have easily given in to societal norms instead of clinging to my values. But, what I've found as I continue my college career is that virtue and holding on to morality keeps us grounded. There is joy in holding on to what you believe and not giving in to what seems to be "what everyone else is doing." 

It is possible to live your Catholic faith in college. Oh, and I know it isn't easy. But it is still so crucial. Especially as we are reminded of our task on Earth during Advent.

Advent is a time of waiting. Waiting for the Lord to come to us as we prepare to celebrate His birth, as well as the Lord waiting for us to come and turn to Him. I love Advent. It is such a time of reflection on who we are, who we are becoming, and how we are living our lives for Christ. And the preparation is beautiful. 

As a college student, the journey is not undoubtedly hard. The journey requires fighting the good fight. Fighting on and keeping our hearts up and knowing that the battle has already been won. And we aren't doing it alone! We have the Holy Spirit! God is here with us! How glorious. Without the reassurance that God's got this all figured out, I don't know where I would be. Advent requires us to stay alert - we don't know when God will come again. And when He does, we better be ready. That doesn't mean put off our faith until we've had our fun. That doesn't mean ignore Christ until it is convenient for us. It means using every second to glorify our God in everything we do. Stay awake. Stay alert. Defend the faith. Stand up for virtue. 

God's got this.  

Live with Joy. 

luke 1:38

L'Innocence by William-Adolphe Bouguereau, 1893.
I. Love. This. Painting.
I recently saw this image and almost fell over. It has become my favorite image of Mary…definitely one of the most beautiful pictures I have ever seen of her.
Wouldn't it be great to be that little lamb snuggled up with Jesus right there in Mary's arms? Well, that's what we are. We are lambs in Jesus' pasture. We follow the True Shepherd. And Mary is our Mother - she holds us close and cradles us in every moment.

I've decided to create a post just to honor Mom. Recently, I have just been reminded over and over about the importance of Mary in my life and how her faith constantly is challenging me to become more like her. She is the perfect example of surrender.

The Annunciation by Henry Tanner, 1898

Again, another favorite. This was my great friend Mrs. Nick's favorite painting. 

Before she joined the angels and saints in heaven, she told me that this painting reminded her of me. 

Really? Me? I couldn't believe it. I still don't believe it. 

This has become another one of my favorite images of our Mother in the past year. How calm she looks! How patient and willing to do God's will! This painting shows the archangel Gabriel and a young Mary, as she is told she is going to be the mother of a King. I doubt I would have been as calm as Mary. Were her parents in the same house at the time the angel appeared? How did she tell them she was pregnant? Did she have younger siblings who didn't understand what was going on with their sister? Yet she sits at the edge of her bed - completely willing to do whatever is told to her. Waiting patiently to do the will of the Lord. Such a beautiful lesson for all of us. 

In a tiny chapel in the mountains of northern Georgia is my favorite statue of Mary. I used to love to sit at the base of the statue and pray. This statue has been so comforting to me. Shes reminds me that Mary can be super calm, but she is also really strong. She knows how to beat up on evil. She's got this. By following the Lord, she showed us how to live a life of beautiful surrender and perfect love. She is full of grace and is our perfect Mother in heaven. She's got us and she is holding us close and has us wrapped in her mantle. Whenever I look at this statue, I am reminded of her goodness and her gentleness, and also her willingness to do whatever it takes to bring our requests to her Son.

Mary, Queen of the Universe. What a comforting thing! We have a Mother in heaven who loves us and is Queen over all of Heaven and Earth. The beauty and deep love that comes of this is so joyful.
This statue originally had a scepter and a crown that were lost over the years... I think that this brings Mary back to who she is… just an ordinary Jewish girl who was chosen by God to be great. We are all chosen by God to be great. Of course, we are not without sin as Mary is… and we will not raise the Son of God… but we are all chosen by the Lord and called to greatness. Through Mary's example we can achieve our greatness - as she directs us to Jesus and brings us closer and closer to her Son.

Our Mother of Good Counsel. How beautiful! Mary offers us prayer and counsel and loves us as her own children. This title of our Mother, beloved by the Augustinian Order, reminds us of the perfect hope we have in knowing that Mary is constantly inviting us to grow closer to God and helping us to grow in holiness. She has our back.

Lastly, this statue is one of my absolute favorites. It is in my favorite chapel on campus and really reminds me of the love that Mary had for Jesus. What was it like for Jesus growing up? Mary cooked for Him, helped Him grow into adulthood and was with Him until the very end: the Cross. She nurtured and loved and cared for Him daily. She held him at birth and held His limp body after His crucifixion. She cradled Him and brought Him to Jerusalem and traveled with Him and followed Him as the first disciple. She loves Him with a love that she has for each of us. She prays for us. How beautiful it is that we may ask for her assistance and guidance in our lives? What an amazing example of faith that we have been given by the Lord to follow. She welcomes us, she encourages us, she is watching over us.

We have a friend in Mary, the Mother of God.
Mary helps us to be the best version of ourself.
My favorite title of Mary is "Cause of Our Joy." Joy is perfectly brought about in Jesus. Joy is happiness in the presence of God. Mary said yes and brought perfect Joy to Earth. She is the Cause of Our Joy.

"'When you're unsure of yourself,' she said, 'when you start pulling back into doubt and small living, she's the one inside saying, "Get up from there and live like the glorious girl you are." She's the power inside you, you understand?'...'And whatever it is that keeps widening your heart, that's Mary, too, not only the power inside you but the love. And when you get down to it...that's the only purpose grand enough for a human life. Not just to love - but to persist in love."
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

Ave, Maris Stella.
Wees gegroet Maria.
Mary, Cause of Our Joy, pray for us.
Momma, pray for us.

Live with Joy.

romans 15:13

Let me take you into a memory for a moment, if you don't mind.

Today I wanted to relive a day in 2012, during my senior year of high school.
Not the school part, of course. I wanted to be thrown back into the ministry. Into the organizing and the planning and the evangelizing and the writing Call to Worships and Morning Prayers.

Back to sitting wrapped in quilts and rocking back and forth in the rocking chair just because you could, and because why not?

And the smell of pep hot chocolate and whiffs of hyacinths and burnt toast and melting butter that should have been put back in the fridge.

And nutella-covered anything.

And snuggling and not studying and laughing until we cry and crying until we laugh and dancing around to Hillsong United: Live in Miami or David Crowder Band or Switchfoot and praising and forgetting that we still have to go to Spanish class after lunch.

And the times when we should have been studying for our Government test but decided it didn't matter anymore.

When it was completely normal to look up videos of goats and lambs and write notes just to affirm for the sake of affirming. Post-it notes with Bible verses and song lyrics and love etched into each word.

When the women that surrounded me left me in awe every time I sat and talked with them. Great friends and great mentors and you could almost just hear Jesus saying "Bailey, don't let this slip away. Remember every moment. Hold on to the Joy."

I wish I could rewind for a day to talk about how good God is and put up Christmas lights and Nativity scenes and snowflakes were everywhere and in everyone in 80° weather.

And days when I would throw my blazer onto the couch and cry from the amount of work I had to do and come back to my backpack in campus ministry to find it with a gift of a small, white, ceramic bird with a ribbon tied around its neck with a note of affirmation and hope.

Days when I would practically run up to deliver a coffee or an iced tea and a cupcake with cream cheese frosting because it was her favorite.

Where a friendship was born that was all in God's divine providence before we were born and helped to shape me into the woman I am today.

And times before and after school when I just never wanted to leave, since I was convinced that I could almost see Jesus just sitting there in the room with us - smiling that big smile - because of the amount of grace that overflowed from each conversation.

Where Joy was defined to me in both word and action by women who inspired me and challenged me and showed me what life was for. For souls. For fighting the good fight. For the beauty of the Mass and for that special encounter with Christ both on retreat and in a hug.

Where all that mattered was letting the Spirit work as we flew by the seat of our pants to create bulletin boards and liturgies and themes and organize everything. And it was so good. And whole. And holy.

Where there was Joy... and sadness at times... and anger at others... but always hope.

And it was beautiful.

It was a great Joy to clean the cluttered room during study hall - or any time of the day, really - because of the things we found - old CDs and kazoos and rubber duckies and compasses and bells and snowflake erasers and feathers and frisbees and Easter trees and beautiful images of Our Lady and Mary Oliver poems and retreat guides and garbage bags full of sand that seemed to have no purpose and that was the purpose. Because we might need them in the future.

"Why is there a bag of sand back here?"

Why did we have the bag of sand? Because apparently, we might need it in the future. It was just stuffed down in the cupboard in the back room. Nobody knew about it, nobody went looking for it. It was just there, safe and hidden. My memories of campus ministry are like this bag of sand. Put there for safe-keeping. I can't get rid of them and I don't want to get rid of them because I know I am going to need these memories and experiences for something in the future, even if I don't know what it is yet. The experiences of my past, with the grace of God, shape my future. And there is so much beauty in that.

I hadn't thought about my senior year for a while. And I am so blessed to have experienced it the way I did. And I will carry these memories in my heart and I will fight on and I will remember all of the things that these experiences taught me. Like what Joy really is. And that God loves us, and He loves the stories. And like how God does not make mistakes. And that there is not much better than a hyacinth sitting next to a copy of Mulieris Dignitatem. And how some things are just ridiculous. How a platypus is an example of when God was confused (what is it? a beaver or a duck?).

And how all will be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of a thing will be well. And there is always hope.

Live with Joy.

ezekiel 2:2-5

Metanoia: A radical change of the heart.

Women's center. 8th and Appletree. 6:45 am. Pray. Love.

I am part of the Pro-life group on campus. This morning at 6:15, we took a van downtown to pray in front of a clinic that provides abortions. It wasn't my first time participating in a vigil there, but it was profoundly different for my heart today.

This clinic has about twelve people who stand in front of the door and down the side of the building in yellow bibs that say "Women's Center Escort." Their job is to make sure that the women and men going into the center do not have contact with anybody trying to counsel them from the sidewalk or pray for them. My group and the others who host the vigil are to stand on the other side of the alley on a small sidewalk. There is yellow tape connected to black pillars on the other side of the alley, separating us from the clinic. The escorts video tape us, laugh at us, and make fun of us as we pray the Rosary and Divine Mercy Chaplet. It is very easy to slip away from focusing on my prayer and feel like an animal in the zoo. 

It makes my heart break.

Going to the vigil tests my faith. I find myself kneeling on the sidewalk in 30° chill, clinging to my Rosary and calling upon the Holy Spirit to radically change hearts. And it seems like nothing happens. 

The escorts keep laughing, the women and men go into the center, and then they come back out. 

My prayer is directed to all of them. The unborn children who never have a chance to live, the women who believe they have no other option than to have an abortion, the fathers who never get to meet their child, the doctors who do truly believe they are helping women, and the escorts who make a joke of my faith. I pray for repentance - I pray for metanoia - a radical change of the heart. 

Metanoia. I pray that the escorts have a radical change of heart. That one day they know the power of prayer and that I am praying for them and that I really do love them and they begin praying with me and the glory of this change spills into the hearts of everyone around them. They are people too. They deserve love just as much as anyone. 

It makes me think of Ezekiel. God sent Ezekiel to the Israelites, knowing that they wouldn't listen to him. But He wanted Ezekiel to go anyway. The witness Ezekiel had resonated in their hearts - and they knew that a prophet had been among them. 

I pray that my witness resonates in the hearts of those who work at the clinic in the way Ezekiel's presence did to the Israelites. They may not listen, they may be obstinate of heart and rebellious, but they still saw me and heard my prayers and they know where I stand. 

The poem Lead, by Mary Oliver, expresses the hope that can come from this experience:

Here is a story
to break your heart.
Are you willing?
This winter
the loons came to our harbor
and died, one by one,
of nothing we could see.
A friend told me
of one on the shore
that lifted its head and opened
the elegant beak and cried out
in the long, sweet savoring of its life
which, if you have heard it,
you know is a sacred thing,
and for which, if you have not heard it,
you had better hurry to where
they still sing.
And, believe me, tell no one
just where that is.
The next morning
this loon, speckled
and iridescent and with a plan
to fly home
to some hidden lake,
was dead on the shore.
I tell you this
to break your heart,
by which I mean only
that it break open and never close again
to the rest of the world.

My heart breaks. But in the wreckage there is hope. There is hope in that by breaking open, it will never close again to the rest of the world. I know that God is working in the people at the women's center - gently calling them back and inviting them to His love. My heart is broken open to love the people involved in abortions more fully. This love is deep. God does not leave us, or fail us, or stop loving us. He is at work. We are called to love, no matter the circumstances. We are called to be a witness for Jesus and for our faith. We are called to trust that our prayers are heard and our actions and words are not in vain.

There is hope. Prayer is powerful. I believe in metanoia.

Live with Joy.

2 timothy 4:1-2

Every year, my college has a giant "Day of Service". It seems like everyone participates, too. Nearly 5,000 students, faculty, staff, and alumni. And if you don't participate, you will most likely be shunned. Well, you won't be shunned... but it's not okay to skip out. It's almost a social expectation to be involved.

I love the Day of Service. Everyone gathers in the Pavilion for a send-off, and hundreds of groups are sent in and around the city to help with various partners in their projects. It really is a beautiful thing - the community of it, the giving back, the early morning Wawa coffee and muffins.

But I really think it is missing something.

We all gathered in the Pavilion, and we were sent off. Why? Why were we sent out? What was the reason behind our service?

Not once was our Catholic heritage mentioned in why we serve. Not once was the name of Jesus mentioned at the send-off. Not once were we told that the real reason why we should help others is because they are children of God and we are called to love them like our sisters and brothers. There was a prayer, but the Sign of the Cross was not implemented. I think we took the diet approach to explaining our service.

Reflecting on the readings this week, I connected St. Paul's writings to St. Timothy with this year's Day of Service:

I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingly power: proclaim the word; be persistent whether it is convenient or inconvenient; convince, reprimand, encourage through all patience and teaching.

We aren't only Catholic when it is convenient. We can't only proclaim Christ when we feel like it.  We can't avoid talking about Jesus as the reason as our service and only focus on "giving back to the community."

There is a reason. Jesus is the reason. The true reason for our service as a Catholic community. And if we don't share that with our student body, with our college community, and scream it with our lives, we are missing the point. We can't stop talking about Jesus when we think it would be inconvenient or wouldn't reach the entirety of those involved.

Jesus must be our motivation for service, and we should embrace that and share with everyone we know on the rooftops at the top of our lungs.

I'm not saying we can't do service without recognizing Jesus - I'm saying service is not complete without embracing the fact that Jesus is the reason we serve.

Serve, whether inconvenient or convenient, and do it in the name of Jesus. Convince. Encourage. Reprimand. Share the Good News. Love.

Live with Joy.

john 15:7-9

Recently I have been so overwhelmed with God... in a good way. The blessings are overwhelming! Blessings I surely don't deserve, and that are surely just God reminding me how much He loves me.

It's amazing to me how much I'm falling in love with Jesus more and more every day. He's won me, heart and soul.

In this realization, I've noticed a major part of prayer that I have never really focused on before: trust. It is so important to trust the ones we love, and this is no different with God.

Prayer is lifting something to the Lord and trusting that He hears you and trusting that He loves you.
Prayer is an expression of love.

In the last few weeks or so, I have been praying through John 15. Especially John 15:7-9.

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you. By this is my Father glorified, that you bear much fruit and become my disciples. As the Father loves me, so I also love you. Remain in my love.

In prayer, in asking God for the desires of our heart to be united to His, and in entrusting our very selves to the Lord, God is glorified. He delights in us, and He delights in our trust of Him. By asking for what we need, we are recognizing that we cannot do it alone. We are showing our love for Him by our trust and our reaching for Him.
But in asking, it is so crucial to unite that desire to the will of God. We can't just ask for whatever we want - we could be unnecessarily disappointed. God knows, like a good parent, what is good for us and what is not. We must ask for whatever we want, and then ask that it only be done if it is in accordance with God's will in our lives. His plan is infinitely more beautiful than anything we could want. Ask to conform your will to the Father's, and you will never be disappointed.

Remain in My love. To remain in God's love we must first place ourselves there. We must know and accept and cling to His love for us. In our desire to love Him more in our prayer and in our trust, we are dwelling in the love of God. Run after Him and then remain in His love.

John 15 has really spoken to me these past few weeks, and I hope that it captivates you too.
Remain in Christ, remain in His Word in Scripture, and remain in the great, unceasing, relentless love He has for you. Be open to letting Him work in your life, and let Him pour His blessings into your heart.

Fall more deeply in love with the one who wants to give you more than you could ever ask for.

Live with Joy.

1 john 4:18

Have Your way. Have Your way. Have Your way.

These simple lyrics are so easy to sing but so hard to actually mean. So many times I cling to the things that I desire, the things that get in the way of my full surrender.

Have Your way. Have Your way. Have Your way.

One year ago today I was faced with the decision, with the help of St. Thérèse of Lisieux, to pray "have Your way" or to cling to my own ideals and wants. I asked for clarity, and God provided. But where do you go from there?

It has been one of the craziest and absolutely beautifully grace-filled years of my life. From September 27, 2012 to September 27, 2013 I have been actively discerning the plans the Lord has for me in my life... Not to try to "figure things out" but to try to live with the most Joy possible and love in the fullest way that I can. I'm not trying to have the path put out and planned for me, but for me to see the path that I can be Christ for others. I have been attempting to actively, continually, and consciously surrender to the Lord for this past year of my life.

I've seen my perspective switch. Despite the struggles, I've seen my worldview become sacramental - seeing His grace in everything. I have not been stressed once. I have truly attempted to follow with all my heart, and that means giving up my wants and praying to desire His mercy. It means giving up to gain so much more.

A great and wise friend of mine told me this quote about grace, one year ago today: "If you over-think it, you're missing the point. Don't try to debunk it, just let it be what it is."

In reflecting on these words today, I have found that it can also be interpreted in this way: "If you over-think God, you're missing the point. Don't try to debunk God, just let Him be Who He is."

God is.
God is Who He says He is.
God keeps His promises.

But my life gets in the way - my impatience, my pride, my restlessness. My "human" gets in the way of the grace that God is continually pouring into my life. The grace that He is continually pouring into your life. The grace that He is continually pouring into our lives. I believe that all of these things get in the way because we are scared of what happens when we do surrender.
I know that I was scared. I was terrified. Our humanity cannot comprehend the Divine. We become overwhelmed, and we cower away.

One thing I have learned in the past year is to be fearless.
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." 1 John 4:18
Let love in, and fear disappears.
Let God love you.
Let Love in, and the fear fades away and we see the beauty of when we let ourselves say "Have Your way."

St. Thérèse, pray for us.

Take the time to stop to smell the roses the Lord has given you today.

Live with Joy.

luke 5:4

I have never been one to have a blog.

It's way too personal for me. It's way too "Look at me! I have a blog!" I never thought I would give in.

But today in prayer, the Lord really put it on my heart to share some of the things that He has revealed to me in His love.

And why would I say no to that?

So, here I am. A Catholic college girl just trying to make her way through a world that hates me because of my faith. Exciting, huh?

Recently, I've been feeling poor and powerless. Not in the sense of possessions, but spiritually. And it seems crazy to me that while I am absolutely sure that God is, and God keeps His promises, I still can feel doubt.

Doubt. How original.

I was feeling lost. So I threw myself  before the Blessed Sacrament and gave my all to Jesus. Again. For the third time this week. And that's the thing - the act of surrender is continuous. It isn't a one time thing. We are constantly shifting and changing, but God stays the same. So we must keep giving our lives to Him to anchor us and keep us grounded. Our society programs us to run away and dismiss the fact that we need help in this life.

The truth is, we can't do this alone. Surrender is communal. You can't surrender without God helping you to surrender. You can't surrender without involving everyone else in your life. We must surrender together.

We have no reason to feel poor or powerless. We have perfect love and peace and hope in the One who has promised this to us. He promised it. All these things are already within us. We just need to surrender to allowing ourselves to see the manifestation of His promises.

And thus, this blog was born. It's an act of surrender. Communal surrender - sharing my faith with others. God asked me to cast out into the deep.

So here I am, Lord. Anchor me.

"You are the hand that reaches out to save - and I am set free."

Live with Joy.